A sad anniversary

I know it is said that all of us will forever remember where we were and what we were doing on September 11, 2001, when the attacks happened and it all hit the news.  I remember it was a beautiful, sunny, early fall morning here in the forest.  I rarely turn on the TV in the morning, but that day, I did.  Then I called Mr. Sunflower, who was in San Diego, and woke him up to tell him the news. It was as so surreal.  (It would take him weeks to find a rental car to get home after that day.)

I called my friend Margaret, and together with a friend of hers, they drove the 20 miles to come up and watch it on my TV set (many of my friends don't own them).  We sat for several hours, watching those same images of the tower getting hit, over and over and over.  It felt so much better than being alone.  I stayed up most of that night,  glued to the TV.  Like everyone else, I had a sick feeling in my heart and stomach that I'd not known before.  I so wanted to be closer to help someone in some way. 

Then, the next day, I made a pot of tea and put Elizabeth Zimmerman's VHS tapes in and sat and watched her, knitting and sipping my tea.  I learned later from one of the on line knitting groups that I wasn't the only one to do that.  She soothes me so.  She is the grandmother I wish I'd had.  She makes me remember not to take too much too seriously.  If you don't own her tapes (or now on DVD), I highly recommend them...you can purchase them from her daughter, Meg Swansen, on School House Press.com.  Even if they're not techniques you need to learn, there's just something so warming about them.

And now, eight years and two wars later, I'm knitting a baby blanket to send to the war zone.  LIke many others, I have sent things to help our soldiers to feel more loved.  At home, our rescue workers are suffering illnesses from cleaning up ground zero.  Children are growing up without parents. I started having nightmares, and then I remember having a dream that I could move to Ireland and feel safe there.  It was, for me anyway, the end of an innocence. 

Sorry to be such a downer, I'm just so sad today.